Fragile Flame

I got to chill with my cousins and we had amazing avacado chicken!

Like elementary school friend who I haven’t talked to in four years.  Pretty amazing!  It’s always fun to reconnect.

So this is going to be an interesting update.  Everything was going great until this past Sunday.  Anyway I’ll start with the good and go on from there.

After School Program/ Day Camps

This is going really well.  It’s almost the end of the school year which means I’ll be starting this job full time at the beginning of July.  Up until then I’m working one day a week.  I still love this job, and I love working with the kids.

Cafe

This is where things get a little crazy.  Things were going fine until Sunday.  I was working 3-4 days a week (20-30 hours), and it was seemingly going smoothly. 

On Sunday, in the middle of a lunch rush, my boss pulled me aside and basically yelled at me my attitude had taken a negative change these past few weeks and that there were complaints from staff (or something along those lines I was too shocked to remember clearly).  I tried to apologize to her but she left and I went back to work.  I held it together for half an hour until my sister came into the store and I burst into tears and ended up having a full blown panic attack in the bathroom. 

My mom arrived too and took me to her car where I took two clonazepams which still didn’t calm me down.  Someone sent me out a sandwich which was really sweet but I couldn’t stop hyperventilating enough to eat it.  I stayed in the car for around an hour, trying to find someone to cover the rest of my shift.  I also wanted to wait to calm down to go back inside and talk to my boss to get more information.  She actually came out right when I was heading in so I tried to explain that I wish someone had come to me sooner so that I could have dealt with whatever the issue was from the get go.  She didn’t really let me talk at all and just repeated what she said before and that she was planning on talking to me after my shift but she saw me yell at someone and had to intervene. (side note: I talked to the girl I supposedly yelled at and she said she has no idea what I was talking about and doesn’t remember anything like that).  I pretty much stood there and listened but never got a real answer as to what exactly I had done wrong.  My mom took me home and that was that for the day.

I was scheduled to work yesterday and after talking it over with many people I decided it was best if I went in and gave my two weeks notice, despite the fact I’m leaving anyway in three.  My mom witnessed the whole second interaction and thinks that what my boss did was essentially bullying.  So yesterday I went in early and let her know.  I didn’t get yelled at, but I also haven’t been told what exactly I did wrong.

My family and friends are really proud that I stood up for myself, and I am too.  I’m just struggling a lot right now because I don’t know where I went wrong.  I’m working the next two weeks and it’s really stressful as well.  This whole incident has sent me into a small depression.  I do feel good about how I handled everything, but I am still freaking out over what I did wrong and who I upset.  I’m angry and hurt at the way I was treated.  Constructive criticism is one thing, I won’t lie and say it wouldn’t have bothered me but in this situation I just felt attacked.

I would love to hear your feedback.  Do you think there is anything I could have, and can still do?

I’m getting so excited, the apartment is really starting  to feel like home!

I had dinner with my mom and my sisters for my mom’s birthday.  My middle sister moved out as well so we don’t have dinner together as often.  We had a really good time.

I went to the park with my neighbour and her two young children.  They were adorable and it was nice to be out in the sun.

I had a great time, I haven’t really laughed like that in a while.I went with a couple of good friends, we had a few drinks and then went to a bar/club for a while after where I had another drink.  I was pleasantly drunk, and I was just happy to get out and have a girls night and have an awesome time.

I had a super busy day but I made sure to make some time for myself.   I’m going to wind down while surfing the computer and have a nice shower before heading to bed.

I went for a nice walk downtown with my friend.  We walked for an hour along the water an back.  The weather cooled down and it was really fun.

Diningroom table is built and everything is finally set up.  It’s my favourite place in the apartment :)